Won’t I be hurting my testimony if I refuse to go to my gay friend’s wedding?
This is a question that comes up in various forms (another would be: …if I don’t go drinking with my friends after work?). The assumption is that declining one’s invitation will make you look judgmental causing unbelievers to deem you unloving which, in turn, ruins any chance of evangelism.
However, if your gay friend is surprised that you refuse to attend his wedding, then you haven’t established much of a testimony in the first place.
A Christian testimony is living out what you believe in a way that honors the Lord (i.e., is consistent with Scripture). Being a good testimony is not about making unbelievers comfortable or happy. It’s about lovingly and graciously living out the truth while keeping in mind that “loving and gracious” does not mean watering down or shutting up. Yes, this will make many uncomfortable and angry, but as long as God’s Word evokes these feelings, rather than your abrasive personality, it’s okay. God’s a big boy, He can take the hits; just make sure you get out of His way.
If you truly live the way God desires in your witness to others, your gay friends will respect you for what you believe because it fleshes out in your love for and service to them. They may invite you to their wedding out of respect, but they know you won’t attend because they are aware of your convictions (which include a non-judgmental love for them).
Although not everyone will respond in the same way, the point is that we cannot cower in fear in regards to our faith but, at the same time, must fuse our boldness and clarity with humility and grace. This is what a true Christian testimony is about.